Knotted Me

Last night I found myself sitting up late again, grateful for the blanket of post-midnight darkness. It seems like every few nights I have new knot in myself to sort through. Soaking my feelings in the darkness helps them to unwind, that and a lot of breathing. Whats left behind is always vibrant.
Our days have been made strange lately by a distant, violent death. A childhood friend of Terry’s lost her daughter suddenly, horrifically. We have no way to really process the news as it comes in from East Coast. The Universe tilts, we search for equilibrium, sometimes finding it – often not. I sit up at 2 AM untangling me.
Pools of suffering spontaneously appear around us, changing our world irrevocably, only to dissolve again. Sometimes they fade beyond memory – this one I fear will stick with Terry and her tight circle of friends for as long as any of them live. Only an event of this magnitude could exceed the epic song of their shared youth, only something this terrifying could grip the heart they’ve made together.
The bird and the moon II     Shamanic work can help in these situations, especially if the living left behind are already comfortable with the methods and processes of shamanism. I was called to do some work in relation to this loss, I was stunned by what the spirits showed me and amazed at the wholeness and brightness of the young woman’s spirit. Though I’m distant from this event, I’ve been forever changed by it too.
When I first journeyed I was taking part in a missing persons search. I went to a spirit I typically go to for this kind of information, but he told me no, I needed to find another spirit, a Power Animal I work with when dealing with the spirits of the dead. I reluctantly agreed. The energies that animal showed me were the lightest wisp of what happened, but they were enough.
Our most unique, profound experiences happen to us, not to someone else. Thats just the physics of reality. If you want your soul to be touched by something, your soul has to show up and be a part of it in this reality. Shamanism changes that, taking your soul places your imagination never knew you could go. Shamanism encourages you to experience the profundity of many other realities.
When I was much younger, waking up at 2 AM was stressful. It meant all was not right in the world. With a young boy to raise I appreciate these moments as the gifts they are. I can find my center, watch the knots dissolve, experience the resounding sacredness of the world, and send wishes of peace to those who suffer everywhere.

Besides, all is not right in the world, and of course, all is right in the world.

May you have the time and peace to unwind your knots, may you be free from the sorrow a family is feeling now, somewhere in the world, as they mourn the loss of a daughter.
Image: The bird and the moon II by Luz A. Villa from Flickr, used under 
a Creative Commons license

The bird and the moon II

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